Theyre trying to say that Prince William won the sexiest bald man survey
CB is the one who enjoys bald men. I prefer furry men, hirsute barrel-chested bears or stringbeans with beards. So I’m probably not the one to ask about “the sexiest bald men.” If a man is truly sexy, his hair (or lack thereof) doesn’t really matter – see Mark Strong or Zinedine Zidane or Stanley Tucci. If a man is a trash person, the state of his hair doesn’t matter either. All of which to say, Prince William is ugly, violent, lazy, stupid and cruel. He’s also bald, but his ugliness is because of all of the other things. Still, someone is spending a lot of money to rig these polls, because William was just named “the sexiest bald man” again.
Prince William has been named the sexiest bald man alive, according to a new study based on Google searches. Marketing agency Reboot conducted the study by looking at how many times the Royal had been searched for, alongside the words “shirtless” or “naked”.
They also analysed celebrities’ heights, net worths and how shiny their scalps are to come up with a total “sexy” score out of 10.
William topped the list with a 9.88, closely followed by actors Vin Diesel and Jason Statham, who excelled on search result scores and the “shine factor” of their heads. Samuel L. Jackson came fourth and businessman Jeff Bezos (no, really) came fifth, with his immense net worth of $168bn pumping up his score.
In sixth place came former basketball player, Michael Jordan, who is officially the sexiest bald sports star of 2023. With a height of 6 ft 5 and the highest net worth of sport stars on the list, at $2.6bn, it comes as no surprise that MJ, in all his bald glory, is seen as seductive, study authors said.
What kind of methodology is this?? “Marketing agency Reboot conducted the study by looking at how many times the Royal had been searched for, alongside the words ‘shirtless’ or ‘naked’.” How is it possible – unless it’s by rigging the Google results – that more people searched for William versus Jason Statham? That makes zero sense. Unless there’s some Kensington Palace intern whose job it is to Google “Prince William bald sexy” and “Prince William handsome bachelor bald does not need hairplugs” and “Prince William hot chest bald” for eight hours every single day. Which is entirely possible. It’s especially weird because William has such major Lurch energy these days.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.
Prince William, Prince of Wales meets members of the kitchen team as he visits The Duchy Of Cornwall Nursery to open The Orangery restaurant on July 10, 2023 in Lostwithiel, United Kingdom. Prince William visits The Duchy Of Cornwall Nursery to open The Orangery restaurant, which has been built as part of a nine-month extension project to create sustainable visitor spaces at the garden centre. Lostwithiel, Cornwall, UK, 10 July 2023,Image: 788350713, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: *** NO UK USE FOR 48 HRS ***, Model Release: no, Credit line: Hugh Hastings / Avalon CARDIFF, WALES – OCTOBER 03: Prince William, Prince of Wales visits Fitzalan High School as he celebrates the beginning of Black History Month on October 03, 2023 in Cardiff, Wales. In celebration of the 75th anniversary of the arrival of HMT Empire Windrush, the Prince and Princess of Wales will hear from pupils about the work they have been doing around black history.,Image: 810533245, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: *** NO UK USE FOR 48 HRS ***, Model Release: no, Credit line: Chris Jackson / Avalon The Prince of Wales visits the Hala Koszyki food hall to meet young Ukrainian refugees who are now living and studying in Poland, and members of the Polish community hosting them, during his trip to Warsaw, Poland. Featuring: William, Prince of Wales Where: Warsaw, Poland When: 23 Mar 2023 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
Prince William The Prince of Wales during a visit to Maindee Primary School in Newport, Monmouthshire, as part of his tour of the UK to launch a project aimed at ending homelessness. Featuring: Prince William Where: Newport, United Kingdom When: 26 Jun 2023 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY** The Prince of Wales walks along a trail during a TreeTop Walk at Central Catchment Nature Reserve, Singapore, on day four of his visit to the island. Featuring: William, Prince of Wales Where: Singapore When: 08 Nov 2023 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY** The Prince of Wales walks along a trail during a TreeTop Walk at Central Catchment Nature Reserve, Singapore, on day four of his visit to the island. Featuring: William, Prince of Wales Where: Singapore When: 08 Nov 2023 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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